Anger

I need to write, and where better than my blog.  I have not been consistent with writing, I felt like I lost my blogging voice a few years back, maybe it's due to not being able to keep things straight enough in my head to put to pen and 'paper'.  I don't know.. I am making a vow to myself to write more consistently this fall and get back INTO the habit.

I want to talk a little bit about the anger I have.  I haven't written much about it but I've really lost my family.  I guess they aren't family if it's there to lose.  My mom passed in April, I no longer have a sister and my brother really doesn't speak to me.  My dad is now living in Illinois with my sister, although he's been in a nursing home since about a week after he got there.. he took a fall and had pneumonia.. Gee, if he was going to get put in a nursing home why didn't he just stay near my brother, who lives in Southern California.  At least then I would probably get to see him again.  Because I was ill and could no longer do the daily care for my invalid mom and fragile dad, I've been bullied and harassed online by this ex sister.. I finally had to block her phone number the other day, one text too many.

Found out this evening through a mutual friend that the wedding ring my mom gave me for safekeeping a year or so ago, and had to return to my dad after she passed, is now going to be remade for my ex sister. She posted this news online.. This makes me so sad.  My dad told me he was going to have it re made and give each of us something of my mom.  I don't have much from my mom, a few things she gave me about a year or so ago..  Everything else got packed up and moved or given away to other relatives.

I don't really even know why I am writing this.  I just need to write.  or scream.  or something.  Thanks for listening.