May I be honest about something? I hate it. Hate Hate Hate. I hate that I feel this way. I might as well throw PAIN in there too, but today it’s the FATIGUE.
Most of you know, but I have chronic Epstein Barr Virus, Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. It’s just the pits and affects just about every corner of my life.
I needed a haircut. BADLY, we are talking 8 weeks since my last cut, and on short hair that is like 8 months. My wonderful friend and hairstylist lives near our old home, about 70 miles away…Ellyn has been cutting my hair, my mom’s hair, my bestest girl Denise’s hair, etc..for years. I managed when we lived out of Southern CA for those 4 years, but when we came back ‘home’, no question who was going to cut MY hair again. Ellyn. So in desperation I called Ellyn the other day and she said ‘come Wednesday at noon and bring your cute mom’. Mom and I piled in my car this morning and headed in to see Ellyn. I don’t drive a lot anymore, but I have been making myself because I don’t want to lose those skills..Got to Ellyn’s, got our haircut, got in the car to come home, stopped for a hot dog…not a bad drive, it was ok. I dropped mom off at her house, came home and literally crashed. Now, why would a normal person crash after a 3 hour car ride, normal traffic, eating a hot dog for lunch and putting gas in her car. They wouldn’t.
I just woke up, it’s 7 pm. Now that makes me mad, and I feel so cranky and lumpy. We move back ‘home’ to SoCal, and I cant even go get a haircut without crashing and burning…My best friend is about 70 miles away too, do you think I could get myself over there? No. Most days I can barely pick up the phone and call anyone. And I feel real guilty. Real.
And the cycle goes on and on..and I miss my old life..
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I have found when I have those feeling bad days that I need to refocus my brain on what is going right. I call it my Pollyanna thinking - now it doesn't always work - but I limit myself to stinking thinking because it would be much easier to do it that - to think abt what I could do - like you got a haircut had some time w/ your Mom and got to see an old friend instead of the fact you were tired after doing it. I have realized as I'm getting older that I can't do what I use to either and that frustrates me so I try to break it up into smaller jobs and if I don't get it done oh well I guess it is the downfall of getting older, we just aren't the Spring Chcikens we were
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow sufferer of many illness and complications I completely understand fatigue. It's not the same as being tired, is it! Hard for people to understand sometimes just how frustrating it can be, and depressing, and all sorts of misery. I have a hard time pulling myself out of these times also but like Jo said sometimes you have to look for the one thing that you did accomplish today.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...email me if you need to vent, talk, cry, all of the above! Take care...jj
Awww..thanks ladies, for the most part I try to be positive and keep my blog positive, but I guess I needed to vent! Thanks for listening..you have no idea how much that means to me:))
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't have any advice, just my good wishes and thoughts that you will be on the upswing soon.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Tracey
I am sorry that you are feeling so exhausted. I can only compare it to being pregnant because that is how I feel every day too :) I hope that you have a better day today. But at least your hair is done so you won't have to tackle that again for another few weeks. Feel better!
ReplyDeleteAgain, thanks to Kellie and Tracey for your kind comments...I feel better this morning...now, make sure you go to my post from this past Saturday the 30th and make sure you are entered in my giveaway..drawing is tonight at 9 pm pacific time by the ever illustrious DogPaw...Kellie that's uncle Carl to you, lol. Just leave a commment at that post nd you are entered..
ReplyDeleteHey Sissy the girls have left all great words of encouragement.
ReplyDeleteDo what you can and do the rest later. It will still be there.
I'm glad you are feeling better today. Wish I was there with you.
xoxoxox