My Invisible Illness Story..

If I haven’t ‘lost’ you by now, humor me by letting me tell you a bit about me and my illness.

My life was pretty normal.  Until November, 2002.  I am pretty sure this point in time getting ill with Epstein Barr virus triggered the ugliness to follow.  Glad I didn’t know it at the time, not sure I would still be around if I had known how downhill my health would have gone.

Continuing, I missed about 4 months of work, during which time Carl nearly had a nervous breakdown, lets call it what it was, I almost lost him.  He was having issues at work, was totally in charge of his mom’s financial affairs, and God rest her soul, it was a mess that took us MONTHS to figure out. I got so ill.  The kicker was the passing of our 11 year old Dalmatian, Daisy.  She was his best friend.

 

We had lost our greyhound Casey the previous Mother’s Day and were still mourning her and reeling from that when Daisy passed and it was almost too much for both of us.  I was ill and did not have the busy-ness of my work to help me this time:(

Carl was hospitalized for over a week we thought it was his heart.  It was his heart, it was just HEAVY.  We talked it over and decided it was past time for him to retire.  the boys were grown, and he had put in 31 GOOD years.  He was a hard and honest worker and thinking back we probably could have sued the company for harassment, but we are not that type.  Anyway, we decided he needed to retire.  We got scared.  How could we afford our home if he retired and I could not work.  We decided to sell our HOME

 

Long story, we sold it very quickly, bought a new home, and this started the moving nightmare that lasted from 2003-2009.  We both lament the fact that we sold our HOME.  But you can’t undo what was done and we tried to move on.  Literally!

Fast forward to Fall, 2007.  Aside from lingering fatigue and tiredness from the recurrent Epstein Barr symptoms, I started getting clumsier than usual.  I take at least 3 tumbles down Scott’s stairs.  Not a big fall, but enough to skin my knees and elbows a couple times.  Ok, not great.  then the pain starts. and progressively gets worse.  I was diagnosed officially this past month with FIBROMYALGIA and MAJOR DEPRESSION.  Uh duh.

I have been trying to get Social Security disability since 2 years ago.  I am not lazy.  I have always worked at least part time.  I would like to work and bring some extra income in to this household.  I don’t feel I no longer have skills to bring to society.  I just HURT.  Everyday.  I am waiting for a hearing hopefully after the new year..Prayers are always appreciated.

My doctor has started me on some new pain meds and something called Neurontin for the nerve pain.  I have an extremely hard time walking, especially in the morning.  A trip out of town wipes me out for days. 

Blogging has saved me.  There are others out there like me!

Here is a link to a website to help you understand Invisible Illness.  Please check it out.  I hope most of my friends and family understand.  If you don’t hear from me for awhile, its not because I don’t care or love you, it’s because I am not feeling well.

Invisible Illness Week

I am so excited to be flying to Chicago and staying with my sis and brother in law at their sweet farmhouse for a week or two or three, leaving next Tuesday.  I am so looking forward to the fall colors of Illinois and Iowa.  I will miss my sweet hubby but he knows I need to go visit my sissy.

I love to hear from you all.  I understand if my illness is off putting to you..maybe you don’t know what to say or do, but I am the same Barb just in a different body.  I still like to laugh at the same things, I still like baseball, I still love my husband, sons, daughter in love, family and friends.  It’s just my body and health that has changed. 

Please read about Invisible Illness.  And I love you all:)